QuickEDIT

gotta make this short.

but im frustrated..

went to a new therapist.. made the mistake of telling her everything. after all, thats when you get the most out of therapy if youre honest.

told her i have trichotillomania. she like laughed or was like whats that. i told her where i pull. and she was like oh gosh, (made these weird noises) doesnt that hurt?made me feel real good.

the most logical thing would be to go to a nother therapist. but when youre unemployed and cant get public assistance or insurance, you pretty much just have to go with the county mental health center..

i have more to write. but i cant write it all wright now.

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so my appt didnt go so well. ....

she seems very relaxed and laid back, but still i didnt get good vibes from her, just from what all went on. i try not to judge ppl on the outside, so i am basing my opinions on other things

so like i said above.. she kind of laughed at my hair pulling.

maybe its cus i dont know how to do therapy. she asked what my history was and what worked didnt work. i jsut said i was some meds and none really helped. and i was just in talk therapy... nothing specific.

she kept on asking my questions, which is fine. but then asked me if i had any questions for her. i dont know what im supposed to ask. and i was never in that situation. so i just kept saying no.
then she looked at my individual treatment plan and saw that the cae manager put i had low motivation. she like made all these loud sighs (plus the whole time too). and was pretty much like, i dont know what i can do about that... my interrpretation was there is no help. i cant remember what all she said. but she did say something like maybe i am just going to be like the way i am for the rest of my life. i almost cried. but kept it in. i wanted her to call my mom and tell her what we talked about, bc i knew i wouldnt remember .. but she said that wasnt necessary. so whatever. she wants me parents to come in to talk with her. about my history, how i was in the past and how i am now. so whatever. my mom will be out of town, so my dad will come. i mean obviously i have some motivation, since i showed up. but whatever. then she mentioned some psych testing. cept they dont pay for it. could be 80 bucks or more or less. i guess she wants me to get her done for her benefit. so we dont spend our sessions wasting time to get through to me or whatever. she said the next couple of appts will be just getting know to me. whatever.. its pretty hard...

so that appt was at 11. and by the time it was finished i was exhausted, felt like the afternoon. but i still had some more stuff to do...

before the appt i had to get my tb test read. attempt to drop off my application at laurel oaks. ended up mailing it. then went to the library to get some books on depression. i hope i can read them. since i cant conentrate very well.

then had the appt.

came home ate. my dad and i went to ace to get paint for my room.

came home and eventually took a nap from 3 to 6 about.

thats my day

tomorrow, i have a hair appt. and compeer's painting lessons thing.