Hi

theres a bunch of concerts i wanna go to, but on one to go with. and im not going with my mom. i should probly try going to one by myself. but i dont know. if i could do it. and once i buy a ticket, i would feel obligated to stay, cus i paid for it and then end up staying just for that reason, and not have a good time.. i dont know.. whatever

my parents got back today. ... god...

they left fri morning, and came back this afternoon. i loved being here on my own. i really didnt do anything, but it was free of tension and no argueing and no yelling or anything. i really liked it.

i was completely honest with them and said i didnt miss them and i didnt want them coming back. so yeah. we all have been yelling at eachother. i can feel the tension. and i am feel trapped once again. i have no where to go. yeah i have a car, but where am i gonna drive to and id have to end up coming back here anyways, so its dumb.

uhm i dont know. so i worked my ass off yesterday cleaning the house up for my mom. but then she is going to re-clean everything. i knew that would happen, but god it really irritates me that she does that.

we are having two ladies stay with us thrusday nite. i think im supposed to entertain them. im hoping they just go straight to bed thurs day nite. but who knows. they are partof the indian children's chorus. i wanted to host some kids, but i guess we called too late. so we have the two teachers. the performance is 7pm on thrus. and then i have to take them back to church around 8:45 on fri. short time.

had the bvr appt. i had written down all the prospects i had been doing on my own and all the ways i have tried comunicating with her. and was planning on reading it. but didnt.. she admitted it was her fault or their fault having to contact me so late. i was just like, ok. and didnt say thats ok. cus its not ok, and i wasnt going to accept her apology. so the first step of the plan is to get some vocational testing. so i will see if she ever calls me back. cus she had called in april or may saying she was going to call a vocational testing place. turned out she just left a msg and neither the testing place or her got back with eachother. and thats pretty much what is happening here. she called while i was there to see her and left a msg with someone. so i will call her mon or tues and check up on it.

i have no idea what i wanna do. i told her some ideas. i like working with old peopl, maybe stna stuff, or something similiar. i like animals and i have an office cert. but thats all i said. allong with teh vocational testing, i will be getting a psych test as well. which is good. i havent had one of those in several years. so i definately wanna do the testing and i will be reimbursed for milage bc its out of town. ha, nothing like that here where i am.. so yeah

so i guess my neighbor did not die after all.

i went over and chatted the the wife monday or tuesday afternoon. it was fine. and i guess she cant see very well, so i didnt feel intimadated or shy-like. thats good. i guess thats the good thing about old people. they cant see very well and probly really dont care if youre ugly at all, they just like the company. so i felt good that i went and saw her. i took her one trash bag out to the curb for her. so yeah i guess i was over the monday, cus trash gets picked up around 4am on tues.

my dad and i might go to the fireworks. just sit in a parking lot near by. i may take pictures. altho i am afraid he will start lecturing me.. god, oh well. maybe ill take oscar. or something, i dont know.. whatever